This week's blog post focuses on the ABC's of Habit Control and how we can adjust our habits in a way that best assists us going forward.
What are our habits? A habit is a settled regular tendency or practice that we form into a pattern. A lot of them are unconscious, or have a basis that is a layer or two below the surface. In order to become the most optimal version of ourselves, it's on us to both identify our self-destructive and efficient habits and align the behaviors that'll create our most ideal self.
How do our habits take place?
Our habits are only barely under our control. We're largely reactionary creatures that act out in ways that we're used to. There are three components to any habit that we execute:
1.) Antecedents are certain intrinsic feelings that we have in reaction to the stimuli around us. These emotions can either be positive or negative and our actions that follow result in...
2.) Behaviors that take place in response to our feelings. They are natural reactions, either physical, mental, etc that take place to provide some sort of effect, usually a remedy. That response comes in the form of...
3.) Consequences that follow that provide some sort of typically hedonistic or therapeutic response. The behaviors we take are designed to derive a consequence that benefits us in some way, shape or form. Life's hard enough.
Control the Controllables: How do we adjust?
So how do we form habits? So much of it seems to be second nature, or ingrained into us. And to be fair, a lot of it does lie outside our control! Antecedents are feelings, and our feelings can either be repressed or expressed. We want to feel good at some level too, so our consequences are expected. Proper management of our emotional response and healthy self regulation is predicated on taking advantage of these two bookends with the one thing that we CAN control: our behaviors.
Simply said and not easily done: find a behavior that can follow an antecedent that provides you the same consequence that, and habituate that mercilessly until you have laid down a new pattern. Much in the same way that movement patterning lies in laying down new myelin sheaths along our neural tracks to make movement more second nature, our behaviors can be practiced consistently to create new patterns that provide the same effect. Think of it as changing what lies in the middle of the cause and effect.
For instance, say that you typically wake up and scroll through social media on your phone as soon as you get out of bed. The key to changing this habit, if you so wish, is to look at what precedes and follows it up. Before unlocking your phone, your head is in a fog, maybe anxious, maybe tired. This is causing you to engage in a behavior that allows you to get tiny dopamine hits in the form of opening up social media notifications or seeing new sights on that roulette wheel that is your feed.
Most people would agree that this isn't efficient. So how do we adjust? Find a behavior that provides the same positive consequence. For instance, you have that brain fog/anxiety (Antecedent), instead you have your phone placed away from your bed (Stimulus control), and have a green smoothie instead (Behavior). It tastes good and helps energize you, then you hop in the shower, and voila, you're ready to take on the morning (Consequence). How long do you have to repeat this to make it the "new normal?"
Perspective on Our Habits
There's ranges on these days from anywhere from 18-254 days depending on what you read and whom you ask. At the end of the day, it depends on how quick we pick up new behaviors that will benefit us. At the risk of sounding like your cliche'd pep talk, every day is a new day and holds new opportunities for us to line up the habits that will define us.
Our feelings and our internal wants are largely set in stone, but our behaviors and the actions that follow through with them are what form the people that we are. What impact will they have on us? Will they serve us? Will they benefit the people in our circle?
Much to think about and even more to execute. Think about the habits you have that are already helping, and think about what you could improve on. Your life is in your hands and up to you to define it.
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